It’s All About Perspective (Holidays without my mom)

Originally I was thinking about naming this weeks blog “can I skip the holidays this year”. I even asked my husband if we could skip them. I don’t really want to skip them this year and at the same time I do. You see since my mom passed away four years ago on January first, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years hasn’t been easy for me to celebrate.

When she was sick in the Hospital in 2014 I dealt with the Holidays. I did my best to be upbeat and cheerful. I kept myself busy to keep myself sane for the Holidays that year. 2015 was my first Holidays without my mom. I was able to celebrate with my family, but at the same time I was hurting. I was missing my mom.

It feels like my emotions are getting worse with each year. It isn’t only hard to celebrate, it’s also the same time of year where I had to deal with my mom getting sick and passing away. It makes for what should be a happy time of year a stressful, sad, all I want to do is cry time of year.

This year feels worse then the last two years. I don’t think it helps that my husband and I are in what he calls the limbo years. The years between when we use to have big family gatherings to go to and the years where our children are close to getting married and having their own families. This is not an easy time to go through. So this year may be the first Thanksgiving where we go to a restaurant to eat.

This morning I thought more about the going out to eat on Thanksgiving. I thought it would be a good idea to try to make the best out of a sad situation. To put a smile on my face and try to be positive. Especially for my family. And then I went on Facebook. That’s when I found out a friend of our family had unexpectedly been admitted to  the hospital.

Well if that doesn’t put things into perspective I don’t know what does! I felt bad knowing this man was in the hospital. All I could think to myself was “Oh no he’s such a sweet man I don’t want anything to happen.” I felt bad that his wife had to leave him in the hospital. Then all I could think was “please dear Lord don’t let what happen with my mom happen with other families this Holiday season.”

That’s when I realized it’s all about perspective. That’s when I realized Even though I miss my mom terribly and will want to cry this Thanksgiving, I NEED to figure out a way to make the best out of a sad situation. I need to put on a smile. I need to remember all that I have and all that I’ve been blessed with and be Thankful for all of it. My husband. Our kids. Our house. Our love. Our Church family. The amount of times my husband, our youngest and I were able to travel overseas this year. And so much more. Most importantly for my Salvation and the love of God that I have.

  • Cecelia Lester

    In 1996, I spent the summer taking my stepmother to radiation treatments for her second round of breast cancer. We finished up those treatments on Friday of Labor Day weekend. The day before Thanksgiving my husband took my dad to a doctor and heard that dad had a mass on his colon. On the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, dad had a colonoscopy. He had a ‘humongous’ tumor attached to his colon. I did not understand why places were decorated so for Christmas. I really didn’t want to have Christmas that year. Because of my then church family and their prayers, we did celebrate Christmas in a more subdued way. I learned from that experience that I didn’t need to have a lot of fancy decorations as long as I kept the meaning of the season in my heart, Jesus is the reason for the season. Wise men still seek Him.