Happy Birthday mom! This weekend would have been your seventy-seventh birthday. I would love to call you and send you a card. Or wish you a happy birthday in person. Instead your celebrating in heaven. I can’t believe it’s been almost four years since you passed away.  I miss hearing your voice. I miss seeing you smile. I miss seeing you playing with my kids. Although they have grown a lot in the last four years so playing with them probably wouldn’t work. I can see you talking with them though. Laughing and maybe telling jokes with each other.

My guess is you’re happy where you are. I’m also guessing you’re taking good care of my three little ones who I never got to meet. I want to thank you for that. I would imagine by now you have already given Jesus a big hug and met Noah, Moses, King David, Abraham, Sarah and many many more people from Bible times. Who knows maybe you’re good friends with them now.

I know you’re better off in heaven where there is no pain and no sadness. No sickness. No disease of any kind. But I do miss you so very much. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you. Even if its only for a few minutes. I have to say the holidays are the worst for me, mom. That’s when it all happened. You got sick in November and went to the hospital. You spent your birthday in the hospital and on New Years Day 2014 you left us and left a big hole in my heart. That one part of my heart that belongs only to you.

I don’t know if you ever knew it mom, but you were one very special lady to me. You were not only my mom, but for the longest time before I met my husband you were my best friend. We did so much together when I was in my teens. You bought me so many teddy bears that it became this thing with us. Now that you’re gone teddy bears have become more special to me. I can’t even go into Macy’s during the holidays, seeing all those bears and not cry.

And in case you didn’t know it, you were a wonderful nana. My kids loved you and I know they miss you too. You would be so proud of them. Katie is engaged to a nice guy. You would like him. Funny face has a job and the little one isn’t so little anymore.

I guess what I’m trying to say is. Happy Birthday. I love you. I miss you. I wish you were still with us. And I hope, okay I know you’re doing just fine where you are. But down here we are missing you.