Turning To God
The way I saw it was, I had two choices: I could have either turned away from God and said: “You don’t care about me. You took my babies from me, why should I have anything to do with you?” Or I could have turned to God and strengthened my relationship with Him. I could have leaned on Him for all the support I needed and let Him guide me through my miscarriages. Reading the Bible and praying, a lot, was also something I could have done, and did.
I chose to turn to God and I know that was the right decision. Yes, I asked Him so many times, “why me? Why not some other woman?” Believe it or not, having my miscarriages brought me closer to God. It made me pray more. It made me read His Word more. It definitely strengthened my relationship with God.
My husband is always telling me, “God will not give you any more than what you can deal with.” I guess God thought I could deal with my three miscarriages better than some other women could. I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought the same about other women as well who have gone through having a miscarriage. Again, I can’t tell you why He let me go through my miscarriages; it is possible that He did it to test me and to see if I would actually go towards Him and lean on Him or if I would turn my back on Him. He did, however, get me through them all with my husband. It did take quite a while for me to get through them emotionally, but He most definitely did get me through it all. I know He can do the same for other women. He can and will get other husbands and wives through this together as He did for my husband and me. We had to let God work in and through the two of us as a couple and, when needed, as individuals. Other couples can do this too.
I didn’t give up on God because He never gave up on me or us as a couple. He was always on my side; I just needed to trust in Him. I know that is a big word: “TRUST,” but in the end it was all worth it and I did become happy again and content. With all things, it takes time. Believe it or not, the emotional pain I was feeling went away with God’s help.