OK I know we celebrated the new year last week,well a couple of days ago, but in this weeks Blog I wanted to share the difference in how I spent last New Years compared to the start of this New Year. So here it is:
Last New Years Eve I spent the day with my family in Hospice saying good bye to my mom. It was a rough day. I either sat in a chair or leaned against my husband staring at my mom. When I finally got the courage up I walked over to her bed and held her hand. I massaged her hand with my thumb in hopes of a response. The best I got was one grunt. I kept my eyes focused on my moms face like I was memorizing every inch of it so I would have it fixed in my brain forever. When it was time to leave I gave my mom a kiss on her cheek and I told her “I love you always and forever”.
The next day New Years Day 2014 my husband and I were trying to decided if we should go back to Brooklyn to see my mom. We were extremely indecisive that day. That night at 7:00pm I received that dreaded phone call. It was my dad letting me know. Mom passed away. She was no longer with us. The tears started instantly and wouldn’t stop. I lost my mommy. I felt like an orphan. It was a horrible feeling. My husband and I drove to Brooklyn that night to be with my dad. It was a very strange feeling being in that apartment without my mom. I remember feeling cold all of a sudden and my dad gave me one of my mom’s sweaters to wear. I felt a certain comfort around me that night with her sweater on me and yet I was still very sad. That sweater is now mine. Last New Years Eve/Day was the worst I ever had.
Last week was completely different! Last week for New Year’s Eve my family and I went to see a movie during the day. At night we had a great time with our Church family. We went to one of their homes. Had some food and played some games. We watched the ball drop on TV with our friends and then we went home. That was a nice day! On this New Years Day 2015 my family and I went to the mall. I think this was the first New Years Day that we ever did that. It was something different to do and it was fun.
So my start to 2014 was drastically different from my start to 2015. 2014 had a very sad and emotional start. 2015 had a very good and fun start. I am hoping and praying that 2015 continues to be a good year!
