I love Christmas! Christmas is my favorite holiday. It always has been and probably always will be. Growing up I loved spending time with my parents and my relatives. I loved going Christmas shopping with my parents and I loved spending Christmas Eve with my dad’s family and Christmas Day with my mom’s family. After I got married I loved when my parents drove to Upstate, NY to spend Christmas with me, my husband, our kids, and my husband’s family. It was always a fun-filled time for me. Sadly though as the years went by I had to learn to live with the sadness of losing grandparents and aunts and uncles in between the joys of the Christmas celebration.
Ten years ago was my first Christmas without my mom. As much as I was enjoying the time with my husband and our children and the holiday traditions we had as a family there was a part of me missing my mom. Yes, I was thankful my dad was still with us to celebrate Christmas, but I knew he was feeling the pain of losing my mom too. We had our moments of crying and remembering my mom in between the joys of celebrating with family.
This Christmas is my first Christmas without both of my parents. My dad passed away in March leaving me to celebrate Christmas for the first time without both of my parents. How am I doing? Well, I’m having fun Christmas shopping with my husband for our children and grandchildren. We had fun putting our Christmas tree up and I put our lights up. I mailed out our Christmas cards and wrapped presents, but in between all of that, yeah I’m missing my parents. I am remembering Christmases past. I’m remembering the joys and laughter, but I’m sad. I’m so sad. I wish my parents were still with me. I miss them more than words can say. Yes, I’m thankful I still have my husband, our children, and our grandchildren, but I really miss my parents.
So if you are reading the blog and your parents are still with you, would you do me a favor and hug them? I know they would appreciate it. If your parents aren’t here anymore to celebrate Christmas, then I am truly sorry and I hope you can remember them as fondly as I can remember mine. And if there is someone who you know who might need a hug this Christmas can you give them one because even though Christmas is a time of joy and celebrating Christ’s birth, when you lose a loved one, in my case my parents, sometimes it’s hard to put a smile on your face. Sometimes you just need a few minutes to grieve in between the joy.
Kathleen Smith is the author of Miscarriages: My Journey From Heartache to Healing, and other books. Blogs about a variety of things. Her podcast is Kathleens Korner and she is the CEO of BearsWithApps. OH, let’s not forget her YouTube channel