Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of thing not seen. Hebrews 11:1
For the last couple of weeks I have been feeling down. I’ve been stressed. I’ve been worrying about this that and the other thing. And there are some things that have been getting to me that I won’t mention in this blog. I hope to in another blog down the road sometime, but for now that stays with me.
I also haven’t been faithful about going to Church on Wednesday nights like I usually do. I’ve either been tired or not feeling good so I would stay home. Or I would ask my husband if he wanted to go and he would say “not really, how about we stay home this week”. So we stayed home. Instead of going to Church we would go to bed early and when it was time to pray we would pray together.
But without faith it is impossible to please him; for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. Hebrews 11:6
All this may sound ok to you, but I realized today it isn’t. Last night, Wednesday night I asked my husband once again if he wanted to go to Church. He wasn’t sure which is when I told him I thought we should go. We knew we hadn’t been to Church on a Wednesday in weeks and there was something telling me we should go. That night, last night our Pastor read from the book of Hebrews chapter 11. The faith chapter. As I kept hearing by faith this person did this or by faith that person did that and the list goes on, I realized I was lacking in my own faith.
It had hit me that I haven’t been doing a good job with my personal devotions and I haven’t read my Bible on my own in who knows how long. Yeah, I pray every day for my food and every night before I go to bed with my husband. But I realized these prayers have been the same for who knows how long. It’s like listening to a recording. And really who wants to listen to a recording over and over again. I know I wouldn’t.
For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith. Romans 1:17
Today I also realized that all the different things that are going on in my life right now that have me stressed I’m trying to deal with on my own. Yeah, I’ve been asking God for help, but I haven’t actually given it all to Him. I honestly think I’m being tested by God with all that is going on to see how I will deal with it all. Will I have faith and trust in Him? Will I give it ALL to Him to take care of? Will I remember He is in control and will take care of me? Will I put a smile on my face and say “Okay God your putting this storm in my path please help me to trust and have faith in you to see me through this”? An even better question will I get back to doing my devotions and reading my Bible on a daily basis so I can strength my own spiritual growth?
The answer to all these questions is….. Well now that I realize all this I’m hoping I can turn it all around. I want my faith in my God to be stronger. Storm or no storm I know I need to rely on Him. I need to do my devotions. Not just to do them, but to get into them and apply them to my life. I need to keep my faith in God strong because without Him every day is a struggle. With Him I can’t do what needs to be done. Without Him I can’t be a good wife, a good mom or a good anything for that matter.
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. James 1:3
Kathleen Smith is an author and blogger — she posts her weekly thoughts at KathleenSmith.org, her books, including Miscarriages: My Story, are available for order wherever print or e-books are sold.