Hey Mom! It’s been a while since I last wrote to you, like five years so I thought now was as good a time as any. Last Sunday was my fifth Easter with out you. I missed you, but this year was very different than last year. In fact it was very different from all my Easters since you died.

I remember my first Easter, five years ago with out you. It was my first major holiday with out you and only three months after your death. That was the worst Easter I ever had. I did my best to put on my brave face, but after a while dad and I ended up crying on each others shoulders, telling each other how much we loved and missed you. Easter, well any holiday isn’t the same with out you.

Last Easter was a little better for me with missing you. I did miss you no questions asked. But last year we had lots of people over and we celebrated a birthday too. That some how helped last years Easter to go better. I still missed you and I still had some of that empty feeling in my heart, but I got through it.

This year mom, was completely different! Yes, I missed you, but the pain wasn’t there. Not that I don’t miss you because I do. The pain wasn’t there because this Easter I got to spend time with my grandson. Yep, I’m a Nana too mom. It’s such an amazing feeling being a Nana! I hope I can be as good as a Nana to my grandson as you were to your grandkids (my kids). I did miss you, but getting to hold my grandson that made me so happy mom. I wish you could see him. You would LOVE him.  There were about 26 people in total at our house for Easter this year and 2 of Andrew’s co-workers came as well.

Mom, I will always love you and I will always miss you. And I will always wish you could still be here on the Holidays. But I’m also enjoying being a Nana too. My grandson as put a new light in my heart for the holidays. He’s given me something to look forward to. And I just wanted to say – Thank you for being my mom. I love you always and I miss you always.

Love Always, Kathleen

Kathleen Smith is an indie author and blogger. She also has her own podcast called Kathleen’s Korner. You can read about her mom, the things they liked to do together and more in Brooklyn Raised Livin’ Upstate